MALA (aka Dill)
Well what can be said about our most illustrious member! Now before dill can even step foot on a golf course there are few things he has to do, i.e, (cooking,cleaning,ironing,painting,wallpapering,fitting double glazing) he has even been known to sacrifice goats and other small farmyard animals to appease his golfing goddess that is MALA!!!!! It must also be said that no one man has turned up to a course with so many new golf swings only to produce the same shot!!!! (usually a duff followed by a slice) but what dill lacks in natural athletic golfing ability on the golf course he more than makes up for by talking a good game in the bar afterwoods.
MALA'S, CATCHPHRASES: 1. I have a new swing, 2. Did you see my chip, 3. Thats my ball, 4. You want some choco, 5. Buy me a drink, 6. Buy me some food, 7. Pay for my round, 8. Pay for my petrol, 9. Pay my mortgage, (you can see what i am getting at!!) 10, Mala said no, again.
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MELDREW ( aka one miserable sod)
Not much can be said about this member except that he really is a miserable SOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. At least once a month Meldrew tells people that he is going to have a look and purchase a new set of clubs, we are now coming up to the 3rd year and yet nothing. He still continues to play with a set of DONNAY international that he purchased 30 years ago, and still with the original grips, maybe one day, yeh right!!!
MELDREWS, CATCHPHRASES: 1.This aint golf, 2. I've had enough i'm going home, (and thats before the first Tee) 3. I am absolutly shattered, (and thats before the first Tee, and whilst sat in a buggie), 4. I am not coming here no more they dont sell Strongbow. 5. Jeff, Roll on Spain
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SHABBA, (aka Darren,) Mr Luvva Luvva, Luvva mmm!!!.
Darren - Alicante airport March 2009 - knackered!
Well, what can one say about the Luvva man, he is the only golfer i know that had his clubs custom fitted with mirrows so he can check himself out whilst addressing the ball. Without doubt the most talented member of the Society, he's got the looks ,the physique, the talk and the walk; so he keeps telling us anyway, and the occasional good ball, and dont we get to here about it. If any of you readers out there have a spare pair of black shoes for the Luvva man then please bring them along. Playing professional golf as a young lad the Luvva Man can pull any shot out of the bag, draw, fade,drill, hook,spin and last of all avoid posts. The lasts one in not quite true, you put a two foot post in front of him from 5 yards and he falls apart, he starts to sweat, he starts to shake he can't handle it he now carries a shovel as part of his set to dig them out, otherwise guarrenteed he will hit it.
SHABBA'S CATCHPHRASES: 1. Two of those three prizes are mine, 2. Who put that post there, 3. Giz a fag, 4. Giz a light, 5.
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MABSY, (aka lee,)
Well lets start now by introducing you to our club secretary, mabsy is the only person we know who smiles with frown a on his face!!! But apparently if you catch him in the right light their is a faint hint of what can only be described as a look of trapped wind which constitutes as smile!! Only taking up golf 3 years ago mabsy game has come along impressively, that is until it comes to the first tee where unfortunatly due to circumstances (to which none of us know why) mabsy can only find out of bounds although he insistes he is taking the tiger line! However recently new facts have come to light about our club secretary starting with his fetish for pink and orange apparently he wears matching colour thongs on the society days aswell though no one wishes to verify this( can't blame them)!!!!
MABSY,S CATCHPHRASES: 1. Al spark up a fag, 2. i just can't hit the ball up the range, 3.Al spark up a fag, 4. Did you see my eagle.
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FROG, (aka junior, taddy sometimes alan)
Quiet rightly known as the joker of the society, you can guarantee that if your drawn in the same four ball it will be a funny round, not only from his sence of humour, his golfing antics also throws a few laughs in. Frog has two loves in life, fags & Silk Cut, you can guarantee that in his 10 year playing career he has stubbed a fag out on every fairway ever played; other than when he gave up, at Weald Park Golf Club, September 08; two fairways he missed, and thats not a joke, he actually made a statement saying " i havn't had a fag for so long i feel like i have given up". He soon made up for it on the next hole, i think he had about five standing on the tee box.
FROG'S CATCHPHRASES: 1.You got my lighter, 2. Fag, 3. How many fags you got, 3. What the f..k was that, 4.
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FALDO aka Lucky - See Alicante 2009!
